16th Duel [Audio] MOAR 4TH WALL

[iwannabeadragon]

What a surprise, things are getting even crazier. Feels a little like Kirkwall actually. All we need now are some crazy mages, paranoid templars, and a bunch of people whining about their problems.

Actually I think we're set on that last one.

[Pause.]

I must be losing my mind if I'm actually starting to miss that city.

Comments

[ilovemetoo]

Oh! Is this the place where we go to get our problems fixed?

Because I've got a lot of them. Right now.

[iwannabeadragon]

[IS THAT A QUEST!?

Hawke suddenly regrets saying anything.]

No this is the place you got to to make your problems worse.

But I'm the man you come to when you need to get them fixed, relatively speaking anyway.

[ilovemetoo]

[It is the best kind of quest!]

It is? I don't like this place anymore.

[And here she thought she had her own castle. Pout.]

You can start by telling them that this castle is not at all up to my standards! There needs to be some sericle changes before I stay here, or I'm just going back to the boat.

[Pause.]

Where is the boat?

[iwannabeadragon]

Not many do.

[There are better castles out there. Ones not filled with crazy people.]

Sorry, I don't handle management problems. The problems I handle are of the saving someone sort or the killing someone sort, sometimes both at the same time.

Just taking a wild guess here but I'd imagine a boat would be at the boathouse.

[ilovemetoo]

But this is saving me! Saving me from the most horrible thing of all.

There are houses for boats? This would have to be a really big house, because it's a really big boat.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Ugh, don't invite the mages. Have you no sense of decorum?

[audio]

[iwannabeadragon]

No actually, it left with my sense of shame and sense of honor. Those three were very close to each other.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

How droll. What do you have left?

[audio]

[iwannabeadragon]

A rather large sense of wit and sarcasm and the most dashing beard in Thedas.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

It's amazing that you survive.

[Bartimaeus has not spoken with him for a while, but did forget the enjoyment of his humour. It's not djinni-level, but for a human...]

[mmmleather]

Kirkwall, you say?

[iwannabeadragon]

Indeed I do say. What do you say?

[mmmleather]

It has been some time since I have met someone from the Free Marches.

[iwannabeadragon]

It'll be a bit longer then. I'm a Fereldan.

[mmmleather]

Ah-Hah! Now that, I am much more familiar with, of late.

[guardcaptain]

You mean this isn't your fault, Hawke?

[iwannabeadragon]

Shocking right? I could barely believe it myself.

[guardcaptain]

I'll believe it when you prove it.

So. What's happened this time? Where are we?

[iwannabeadragon]

Now I know I'm great but not even I could spirit us away to some keep that's Maker knows where. Actually I don't think even he knows where this is.

Holloways Keep and as far as I can tell, we've been kidnapped. That's a first for me really.

[guardcaptain]

No. But odds are good you'd somehow set events in motion to cause said spiriting.

... That had better be a joke.

[youwakewhenisay]

Not a bad list...

But you forgot about the rabid animals, homicidal fauna and crazy cat ladies. Really man, the cat ladies are the worst.

[iwannabeadragon]

Why do you think I left them off the list? I try to ignore them.

[youwakewhenisay]

Oh no! This isn't one of those 'say the name three times and it comes to haunt you' things, is it?

Only one more count on the c-lady one and we're doomed.

[iwannabeadragon]

At this point I don't even care anymore. I'm haunted by everything but peace and quiet.

[youwakewhenisay]

Say that three times over and it might happen.

Are you hinting I should leave you alone?